Pepperjacks.

If furniture could talk, I’d teach my dinette set how to sing. That way I could pretend that I’m in a Disney movie or that I’m a singing dinner table.

I used to only eat Chinese food for breakfast, but than I discovered that rice krispies aren’t Chinese.

On Saturdays I like to use the phrase ‘cinnamon stick’. It makes me feel like I’m in a spice factory.

When I finish changing the oil in my car I pour the old stuff in the bushes, because no one wants old oil.

One time I found a dead hummingbird in my box of cracker jacks, I wasn’t sure if it was the toy surprise so I held onto it. I threw up all the caramel coated popcorn later that night. I’m still not sure if that hummingbird was the surprise or not.