Pumpkin Spice Candles

I think everyone should have something tucked away that they can pull out for motivation. I've got one and it works wonders. Whenever I feel a bit down or feel the ropes of stress trying to tie me down I bring up an eulogy I have saved on my computer. It's a metaphorical death speech about chivalry. For some reason it just hits me hard (that's what she said) and uplifts my spirit. I feel like I'm Indiana Jones and I just dodged a doozie of lava traps.

I wonder if Men these days are getting weak or maybe I'm watching too many adventure movies. Or maybe I'm getting old and the older I get the less manly one becomes. A friend of mine said real men are like wild stallions that can only be tamed by a woman. I think most guys are like ponies nowadays. We buy fancy clothes that match, we don't like to get rained on, we shower daily and waste money on televisions, phones and peppermints. What happened to the champion? What happened to the times where we would only take a shower because someone commented on our smell or we decided it would be cool to have a dirt clod war. I say bring it back, screw all that other crap. I don't want to be a pony. Women can be ponies, hippis can be ponies, and any idiot of a man who owns a pumpkin spice candle is DEFINITELY a pony. Gentlemen, start chewing on some pepper sprouts because it's time to mess some foos up.

edit: I just ate some glass. holy crap, my lungs hurt.